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100 ways to know that you are from Estonia
1. You use the word ‘normal’ if something is ok.
2. When visiting friends abroad you bring along a box of Kalev chocolate.
3. You know that going to the sauna is 80% about networking and 20% about washing
4. You are nationalistic about Skype (it is actually an Estonian company)
5. ‘Kohuke’ belongs to your menu
6. You declare your taxes on the internet like all modern people
7. You actually believed for a while that Latvians had 6 toes per foot when you heard that as a child
8. You spent at least one midsummer in Saaremaa, Hiiumaa or one of the smaller islands
9. Words like “veoauto”, “täieõiguslik” or “jää-äär” sound perfectly pronouncable to you
10. There can never be too much sarcasm (Tõsijutt :D)
11. You are disappointed that Jaan Kross never got the Nobel prize in literature
12. It would not be suprising for English-speakers to find your name naughty (Peep, Tiit, Andres [sounds like undress]) or hippy (Rein, Rain)
13. You would agree that wife-carrying is a real sport (at least as long as Estonians are winning)
14. Your best friend’s girlfriend is your English teacher’s daughter and they live next door to your grandparents, who were colleagues with your advisor, who is friends with your…
15. You think that any beverage below 20% is non-alcoholic
16. You check the thermometer before going out
17. Even if you find the music by Veljo Tormis and Arvo Pärt not exactly easy-listening, you think they are great messengers for the country
18. When someone asks you “where is Estonia?” you quickly reply that it’s located in Northern Europe close to Finland…
19. Sour cream tastes good with everything
20. Kui sa saad aru, mis siia kirjutatud on
21. You consider running to the shop at 19.50 on Friday evening to buy some booze, a sport
22. You are a true Estonian when you come from Tallinn, because if you are from Tallinn you think Tallinn IS Estonia and that’s true of course that Tallinn is Estonia
23. When someone says “Estonians are so beautiful” you answer almost without emotions “I know”
24. You don’t think that terviSEKS (cheers!) is a funny word
25. You don’t find the Estonian equivalent to the expressions “twelve months”, “1002” and “12 buses” remotely funny or rude
26. You grin when someone you know says that they bought a BMW
27. You know how to end the sentence “Kui Arno isaga koolimajja jõudis…”
28 . Blood sausage tastes great (at least once a year at Christmas time)
29. You think that the combination blue-black-white is cheerful
30. You know that love for 3 oranges is not a weird sex thing and the phrase “x 6 me” makes absolutely sense
31. A language should have at least 14 cases
32. You are so proud of every Estonian that you correct foreigners who say that the population is 1 million, not 1.3 million as it actually is
33. A mention of a town with a population of a million or more causes you to panic slightly
34. It’s been years since you’ve seen your paper passport and paper bus pass
35. And weeks since you’ve seen cash money.
36. And you barely remember that there are other forms of payment except electronic ones.
37. When you come to a city that has a subway, you are prepared to spend a day just riding it.
38. You presume that all other countries also have ubiquitous Internet access.
39. You feel that the University of Tartu is among the top 5 best/largest/oldest universities in the world, and if you’ve graduated from it, all paths in life are open for you.
40. Swimming in +18C water is a perfectly normal summer activity for you.
41. Although when summer does come around, you tend to be working that day.
42. Walking down Viru street, you can accurately name all the cruise ships in Tallinn harbour on that day.
43. You know the names of all three black people living in Estonia.
44. You remember the 1-kroon bill and the 5-sent coin.
45. A person that speaks three languages isn’t the slightest bit impressive.
46. Your biological clock senses with perfect accuracy the 15 minutes since you’ve parked your car in the center of town.
47. You have already been to Olde Hansa.
48. You know what the EURIBOR rate is right now.
49. If it takes more than 10 minutes to drive somewhere within the city, you are mildly annoyed because it is too far.
50. Your doctor prescribes a visit to a tanning salon.
51. You take it as inevitable that you will need to go abroad for some things: clothes, footwear, books, theme parks…
52. First-graders with mobile phones no longer surprise you.
53. People who type slowly and carefully using only their index fingers are subconsciously considered to be foreigners.
54. The most difficult subjects you learned at school were Estonian history, Estonian geography and Estonian literature. And Russian.
55. You can speak with pride of Estonia’s tallest mountain. (318 m high)
56. Buildings taller than 20 floors are sightseeing items where you bring visitors.
57. On June 23rd, you feel the irresistible urge to drink beer and eat barbeque meat.
58. When you hear “Kristina”, you think of Shmigun, not Aguilera.
59. Every year you believe, deep in your heart, that Estonia will once again win the Eurovision Song Contest.
60. Potato to you is the same as rice to a Chinese.
61. You can’t imagine your life without “Kalev” and “Vana Tallinn”, especially while having a deep look at the Tall Hermann and Oleviste sitting in the cafe inside the Old Town…
62. You’re proud that Ernst Hemingway wrote that you can find at least one Estonian in every harbour in the world.
63. Ten months of the year it is too dark to be up and two months it is too light to go to bed.
64. You believe that Kalev will return because Kreutzwald wrote so.
65. You find nothing special about singing a super-state to collapse.
66. You look down on people who ask if Estonia along with the rest of Eastern Europe is civilized by now / if Estonia belongs to the EU.
67. You know what or where “Valli baar” is but you would not try “Millimallikas” they serve twice (unless someone else pays for it).
68. You wait for a green light at a pedestrian crossing even when there is no traffic to be seen.
69. You have an account on rate.ee or used to have one until you realised there is also facebook which is way better.
70. a Southern European friend of yours is excited that it’s miraculously snowing in their country and they tell you about it with enthusiasm but it doesn’t move you at all.. at least not emotionally.
71. You know what “spikerdama” means and have good memories of it.
72. You are too lazy to walk.. so instead you take the tram, the bus or the trolley-bus and if you do that without a ticket you know why people call you a bunny.
73. You know that the word “aita” and “Tarapiita” possibly comes from the word “Taara, avita” and you know who Taara is.
74. You are crazy about tanning at Pärnu Beach.
75. You eat too many dairy products.
76. You have lived in flats more than houses.
77. You are proud that an Estonian day still continues even with metres of fat snow covering the streets because other countries like the US would call it a “snowday” which basically means they have no work or school.
78. You also know that if there is going to be another Ice Age the Estonian people will more likely survive better than the South or Western Europeans
79. And you like the global warming but you can’t imagine a Christmas without snow.
80. You’d love to get your highschool final exam results texted to you.
81. You have porridge for breakfast.
82. You eat everything with sidrunipipar (lemon pepper).
83. You notice summer has come because “Reporter” changes name to “Suvereporter”
84. You consider constantly smiling and friendly people high on drugs or just annoying. (I totally consider myself high on drugs or annoying.)
85. You have a puzzled relationship to your Baltic neighours: you might feel great blood kinship but then again you want to look better than they and take offense if someone thinks you’re from Latvia or Lithuania.
86. You don’t even expect a victory from the Estonian football team, but you still follow the game with great emotions.
87. You can relate to the lyrics of “Depressiivsed Eesti väikelinnad”.
88. You eat pea soup and a bun with whipped cream on Vastlapäev every year.
89. You feel butterflies in your belly when you hear Tõnis Mägi’s song “Koit”.
90. You know that between two legs there is Rataskaevu street.
91. If Finnish guy goes to “tyräleikkaus” you think that they are going to cut his dick off.
92. You consider Chalice’s “Minu inimesed” almost the new national anthem… if you don’t, you’ve been outside Estonia for too long…
93. You watch “Nukitsamees” with English subtitles and foreigners STILL don’t get why Estonians love that movie so much.
94. You suddenly feel hungry when you hear the following words: hapukapsas, must leib, Kalevi valge mustikašokolaad, mulgipuder, kohupiimatort, jäätisekokteil, juustugrillvorst etc. See the discussion on Estonian food for more yummy stuff…
95. You have at least once had to explain people when being abroad that No, Estonia is not as cold as Siberia and No, ice hockey is not the most popular sport in Estonia, cause we actually do not have ice all year around.
96. You wear small reflecting accessoires on your clothes during winter.
97. You undress yourself as much as possible when the sun is shining.
98. You drink birch juice (kasemahl) in springtime.
99. You wonder, mis värvi on armastus?? (what is the color of love)
100. As a child you went looking for a fern flower on Jaaniõhtu.
Ja rohkem ei midagi.
Ehk nädalavahetusel teen pisukese ülevaate kurnavast töönädalast ja sellega seonduvatest emotsioonidest. 🙂